Traveling can bring out our deepest emotions. People often travel for the happiest or saddest moments of their lives, be it a graduation, wedding, or funeral. When you need to fly to those events, there’s a period of time while you’re in mid-flight when your emotions can run strong. I’ve been told that also called getting a case of “the feels.”
It’s understandable. You’re isolated from the world, sitting in a metal tube thousands of feet above the ground. These feelings are only intensified if you’re traveling alone with only your thoughts and possibly some music to keep you occupied.
I was listening to some of my favorite artists on Spotify and I came across a song that brought me to a place I hadn’t visited in a long time. I was the most visibly emotional on this flight as ever and I wish I could go back and apologize to the people sitting next to me and explain what was happening.
Not to get into the sappy parts of our relationship, but Sharon and I had a long journey to becoming the couple we are today. That consisted of many trips, some alone and many with other friends. On one particular trip to Orlando, I was leaving on a flight before Sharon.
At the time (pre-9/11), she was able to stay at the gate to see me off. I believe we had different flights home but don’t remember the details. As I got ready to board, she said, for the first time, that she loved me. I told her that I loved her too (I wasn’t cool enough to try the Han Solo “I know” line) and got on my flight.
As I settled into my window seat for the 2 1/2 hour evening flight back to Newark and replayed that moment in my brain. Did that just happen?
Before I knew it we were away. I took out my Sony Discman and popped in the new Hootie and the Blowfish CD. Hey, don’t judge. Seeing their reunion concert was one of my highlights of 2019!
Letting myself relax to the lyrics, the song “Only Lonely” came on.
Not a hit or even a single. But it hit me like a ton of bricks.
If we could share our time
Would I disappoint your fantasies
I believe that you could be the one I’m needing
’cause I’monly lonely on the inside
didn’t mean to take away your dreams
only lonely on the inside
when you close your eyes to your deepest thoughtsI could start to give apologies
For all the stupid things That I will say and I will do
If we should ever cross the same place at the same time
Would your world skip a beat ’cause it was meIf we could share our life
Would I disappoint your memories
I believe that I could be the one your needing
I put the song on repeat and stared out the plane window and cried.
For a while.
Until I finally got it out of my system.
Even today when I hear that song I’m brought back to that instant when I’m sitting at a window seat on a late-night Continental Airlines flight from MCO-EWR, which I consider to be one of the first moments of the rest of my life.
And to the people sitting next to me having to watch a 25-year old listening to Hootie and the Blowfish and looking out the window while sobbing uncontrollably, I’m sorry but not sorry.
I can just imagine this story from their perspective. They’ve spent the rest of their lives saying “Sure, the flight wasn’t great but at least it wasn’t the time when we had that person sitting in the window seat next to us with his headphones on, crying for half of the flight.”
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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary
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