There are 2 types of people in the world – those who try to follow the rules as best as they can and do what’s expected of them, and those who love to, shall we say, leave a wake of chaos behind them.
One would hope that when going through the TSA security checkpoint, most people would err on the side of “follow the rules.” After all, if you start making waves, let’s face it…TSA officers have the ability to not let you through the checkpoint and, voilà, you’ll miss your flight. And if you do something REALLY awful, you might even wind up on the “Do Not Fly” list.
But for those who live to stir the pot – or those who want to ensure they don’t – here are 5 things that may well tick off your friendly neighborhood TSA officer:
Not supervising your kids
Standing in a 30-45 minute queue to get through the regular, non-PreCheck checkpoint is hard, even for adults. For little kids, it’s excruciating. Some parents are smart and have things to keep their kids occupied – screen time or whatever. But then you’ve got the parents who don’t care and essentially let their kids run wild. Those kids run up and down the queues, go round and round the stanchions, and generally make themselves an obstacle course for people and their bags. Trying to maneuver around small children slows the line down (and puts the kids at risk of danger if a rollerboard runs over a toe) and that, in turn annoys the TSA agents who are trying to keep the line going at as quick of a pace as possible.
Talking on your phone while you’re being screened
Adults are just as bored as kids when they’re in a queue that seems to last forever. While some adults will pass the time by checking social media or whatever else, some use the opportunity to talk to people on the phone.
The problem with that is that TSA agents are trained to look for and notice many things (here’s what some of their training entails), including body language, facial expressions and verbal cues. If you’re on your phone, the agent can’t interact with you and look for the signs they’re trained to detect.
Making stupid jokes
Here’s what TSA officers see on airport body scanners nowadays. If you go through the scanner and it suggests you need extra screening, the TSA officer may ask if you have anything metal in your body.
Here’s a word of advice: don’t say you have a heart of gold or buns of steel. And if they ask you if you have any weapons, there’s no need to say that you prefer to kill with your bare hands.
They’ve heard it before, travel friends. Every shift. Sometimes, every hour.
It gets old.
Making bomb jokes
Remember a couple of years ago when someone tried to bring a grenade through TSA? Yeah, good times.
Another good time? Joking and saying that you have a bomb. I promise that won’t end well.
You’ll get your behind pulled out of line so fast your head will spin. And then you’ll get questioned because ANY joke about having a bomb will be taken seriously.
Yelling at them
Everyone is stressed when they’re at the airport. Know who “everyone” includes? TSA officers. They’re the first line of defense to make sure you aren’t going to be the cause of a tragedy at 35,000 feet. I mean, if someone has a gun that makes it onboard and they shoot a bunch of people on the plane, and it turns out THEY were the TSA officer who let them through? Yeah, that’s a whole lot of pressure. Plus, they have to explain the same concepts to people over and over and over and over again, day in and day out, and they STILL don’t full instructions, which is also its own sort of stress. So if they tell you that you have to get your hands swabbed, or that your bag has to go through the scanner again, or that your kid can’t run past him, the correct response does not involve yelling at them. Just like you get annoyed if someone yells at you, they get annoyed if you yell at them. So just…don’t.
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