Oh my word, this is hysterical!
You’ve heard of Florida Man right? He (or it) is an Internet meme first popularized in 2013, referring to an alleged prevalence of people performing irrational or maniacal actions in the state of Florida. Internet users typically submit links to news stories and articles about unusual or strange crimes and other events occurring in Florida, with stories’ headlines often beginning with “Florida Man…” followed by the main event of the story. (thanks, Wikipedia!)
The thing is, that is all 100% true. Over the years, the notorious Florida Man has been making headlines all over the state. And it’s always some bizarre “truth is stranger than fiction” sort of thing.
- Florida man allegedly threatened to shoot someone at CVS unless given “all bottles” of Viagra (Yahoo News)
- Florida man caught camping on Disney’s abandoned Discovery island, calling it “tropical paradise” (YMMV)
- Drunk Florida man drops his pants, yells ‘where’s my weapon’ while exposing self to deputies, officials say (Fox35 Orlando)
- Florida man found guilty of murdering wife after she refused to go on home renovation TV show (NBC News)
- Naked, drunk Florida man found passed out in grassy intersection, punches cop who woke him up (CBS News)
So get this. On February 24, 2024, Florida Man is going to invade St. Augustine. Yep, a Florida-style competition will give Sunshine State residents a chance to compete in tests of knocking each other over with pool noodles, evading getting arrested while going through an obstacle course, beer belly sumo wrestling, and more insane competitions.
It’s called The Florida Man Games.
The contests will be judged by former American Gladiators Dan “Nitro” Clark and Lori “Ice” Fetrick.
Other modes of entertainment will be a mullet contest, a Florida Ma’am Pinup show, chicken coop BINGO, and more.
The event was dreamt up by a guy named Pete Melfi. He’s a native of St. Augustine, FL and owns The 904 Now, which is a media outlet that covers St. Johns County (St. Augustine is in St. Johns County). He said he originally envisioned a “0.5K Beer Run” but eventually expanded the vision to a broader range of contests.
“We thought, ‘How can we really play on these Florida Man headlines that we hear so much about?’ Someone gave me the idea to make it into an athletic competition,” he told the Orlando Sentinel. “It’s going to be a wild day of mud games and Florida-style obstacle courses. It’s going to really be an opportunity to live that Florida Man life for a day.”
According to the event’s web page, the events will include:
- Weaponized Pool Noodle Mud Duel — Test your strength inside the Florida Man Games Colosseum (a.k.a. an above-ground pool filled with mud). Teams need to be registered for this event.
- Evading Arrest Obstacle Course — Jump over fences, through backyards and away from actual police officers to earn your freedom. Teams need to be registered for this event.
- Category 5 Cash Grab — Subject yourself to Category 5 winds as you scramble to catch as much real cash as you can. Teams need to be registered for this event.
- A catalytic converter, two bikes and a handful of copper pipes: Race against time — Compete head-to-head in a race where you run from actual police with a catalytic converter and copper pipes in your hand. It’s the race that lets you live a day in the life of a Florida man headline. Teams need to be registered for this event.
- Beer Belly Florida Sumo — Dive into the beer belly of the beast as you try to blast your opponent out of the ring. Teams need to be registered for this event.
- Mullet Contest — Florida is well-known for being the home of the most outrageous mullet cuts on the planet. Watch and pick the winners.
- Florida Ma’am Pinup — A contest of wild and wonderful women of Florida, judged by some of Florida’s “most notable women.”
- Chicken Coop Bingo — Two chickens will decide whether you win or lose in this fun, dirty game.
- 911 Fight Night, Brawl of the Badges — Police officers and firefighters square off to close the inaugural Florida Man Games.
Other activities will include selfies with alligators, a barbecue competition and “cultural demonstrations” (of what, Florida Man? He ain’t got no culture!)
Some of the contests require team registration of 5 competitors per team. “16 Teams from across Florida will go to battle for the gold. Get ready to live out the craziest headlines from across Florida! Each member of your team will compete in one of 5 trashy, dirty and wild events!” Team submission deadline is November 15th and they will pick final teams by November 30th (+/-). Being athletic is not required to be on a team.
The Florida Man Games are going to be held at St. Augustine’s Francis Field. Tickets are $45 (General Admission to the field grounds), but there’s also a VIP option, which includes drinks, climate controlled VIP area, VIP air conditioned restrooms, Celebrity Meet & Greet and reserved bleacher seating during The Florida Man Games), and are available via Eventbrite.
The Florida Man Games has a presence on Facebook and Instagram – take a look at them because whoever is doing the photos they’re posting is funny as hell.
I have to admit this event sounds like it had the potential to be a helluva a fun day. I wish the organizers the best of luck!
Feature Photo: The Florida Man Games
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1 comment
Awesomeness squared!