Your Mileage May Vary

Dear Marriott: That New Hotel Room Design Is Creepy

If you stay in enough hotels, you’re undoubtedly going to encounter some rooms that have a design that’s a little, shall we stay, unusual. We’ve stayed at a Hilton Garden Inn with a mirror in THE WORST possible spot, a hotel at the Grand Canyon where we wondered why they’d put a plug outlet THERE, been in rooms where they bathrooms that were so tiny that you couldn’t close the door in you were sitting on the bowl, and, of course, all the other hotels that just had weird stuff and setups.

But now I’ve seen a room design that’s beyond weird. If you ask me, it’s downright creepy.

I told you about our friends, Stephan and Emilio, a while ago. They were the ones involved in the hotel thermostat hack that went terribly wrong. Anyway, they’re planning a long-delayed trip to Germany (thanks, COVID) and Stephan was looking at hotels in Frankfurt. He came across one that was so weird that he posted it on Facebook.

Marriott opened Gekko House, its first Tribute Portfolio property in Frankfurt, in early 2020. Just 12 kilometers from Frankfurt International Airport, the hotel is near signature spots such as the fairground, Festhalle, Kap Europe Congress Center, and Skyline Plaza. It’s also just blocks away from the train station, so it’s really conveniently placed.

Gekko House offers seven levels of guest rooms:

Stephan was looking at the Junior Suite. It sounded very nice. From Marriott:

At first glance, the Junior Suite looked lovely. It’s very spacious (by European standards) and bright, offers nice views of the city, and the bed looks pretty comfortable (although I don’t think the bed in the pictured model Junior Suite is a king. Just sayin’).

a room with a bed and a couch

The bathroom looks nice as well, with a HUGE walk-in shower.

Oh by the way, one more thing. There’s a bathtub in the living room.

Yep, for reals. And it’s right underneath the television, no less.

I like Stephan’s Facebook post about it…

Tasteful and interesting, indeed! But looking back, yeah, it WAS in Marriot’s description… “Junior Suites with stand-alone bathtub and with views overlooking the skyline.” Sure, a well-placed window near the bathtub sounded nice. I just wasn’t expecting…THAT.

I mean, I know Europeans, in general, are more open about nudity than most Americans are. But to have a bathtub in your living room? Right under the TV?

REALLY?

Meanwhile, wouldn’t it have been nice if the room had some, you know, table space? Hmmm…I wonder where they could have put a table…

Tribute Portfolio hotels are defined by Marriott as, “a family of independent boutique hotels bound by their Indie spirit and heart for connecting people and places.” So it’s probably doubtful this particular design will be repeated in many, if any other Marriott hotels.

Honestly, that’s probably just as well. Because yeah, a bathtub in the living room? Frankly, I’m not sure about how well that would connect people and places. But if you ask me, it’s definitely on the creepy side.

Of course, as the good blog says, Your Mileage May Vary.

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