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I’ve been singing in local choirs, on and off, for about 2 decades. One of the #1 (well, #1 & #2) rules about singing in a choir – any choir – is “DO wear deodorant and DON’T wear perfume or cologne.” After all, there are dozens to hundreds of us on that stage, squished like sardines. That’s NOT the time to have to worry about anyone’s body odor. And if you have allergies or asthma, perfume or cologne on the person next to you for the length of that tech/dress rehearsal or show is just awful. That particular “Do/Don’t” also tends to be the rule when you work in a hospital, some office buildings, etc.

The same can be said for anywhere you’re going to be squashed with a bunch of other people. Say, on a plane. Now…hold that thought.

Reddit is an American social news aggregator, web content rating, and discussion website. It was established in 2005. It’s a huge community, with over 430 million monthly active members. Registered members can submit content to the site, including links, text posts, and images, which other members then vote up or down.

Reddit has over 100,000 active communities, one of which is called AITA. The initials represent the term, “Am I The A-Hole.” The community is defined as, “A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you’re right, or you’re the a-hole.” It’s kind of like a “jury of your peers” sort of thing.

We’ve mentioned other situations from AITA in the past:

• The boss that bothered the employee on her vacation
• He invited mother on a family trip and didn’t tell his wife
• They wouldn’t give up their exit row seat to the girl who gets air sick
• He upgraded to ANA business class & left his wife in economy
• Should he have told her about the history of their hotel room?
• He planned a family trip overseas but left his daughter home because her passport had expired
• The person who wouldn’t switch seats on a plane and then got yelled at for ignoring the woman’s kids who were next to them

This time a guy on a plane called out the woman sitting next to him because he said she was wearing too much perfume. He wanted to know from his fellow Redditors if he was in the right or the wrong for doing so. You can click here to read it all (heads up here may be adult language).

AITA for telling the girl next to me on the plane that her fragrance was too strong?

20th hour of travel for me. After a 3 hour delay on my final 1 hour flight, a pretty, preppy young lady sits in the middle seat, me (mid-age WM) in the window. She already reeked of perfume, but she pulls out a heavily odorific hand sanitizer and slathers herself. I am literally sick to my stomach, but hold my tongue, thinking it would wane soon. It didn’t. Minutes later, as I peek out from under my mask to adjust the air vent and she asks if I’ll open the blind for her to see. Yes, I say… but grumpy me lets out “your fragrance is very strong”. Sorry, she replies sheepishly. I pull down my sleep mask to match my COVID mask and bear my stomach sickness in exhausted silence for the rest of the flight. When we land, she turns to me and claims she has no sense of smell, that I made her flight very uncomfortable, and I should be more sensitive to what other people are going through. Also, she says, her husband said the sanitizer smelled nice. I keep my cool, but tell her she should not use fragrances next time she flies. Honestly, the moment I left the plane, I smelt a felt better. Question: Am I the a-hole for speaking up? Was there a better way to handle that situation? I wasn’t trying to upset her, just to breathe and suggest she back off the perfumes. If it were just her sanitizer, she could have (as she suggested) washed her hands. She didn’t. I’m not sure if she learned a lesson, or what I could have done differently, other than try to switch seats with someone, which might have hurt her more. What do y’all think?

Overall, the original poster (OP) was deemed to not have been an A-hole, but the “YTA” (You’re Yhe A-hole) and “NTA” (Not The A-hole) votes were VERY close. Here’s what a bunch of people said (posts only edited for clarity, brevity and adult language):

• NTA it takes a very special kind of a-hole to douse themselves with perfume before a flight. What the actual f**k is wrong with people. Also, if she, “claims she has no sense of smell,” then what the f**k is she doing going heavy on the perfume when she’s (I presume) traveling alone anyway? This situation is confusing and I feel like I can smell her from here and it’s giving me a headache. NTA. – Dszquphsbnt
• Tbh NTA. If you weren’t rude about it, there’s nothing wrong with letting someone know, especially if you’re sitting next to them that it’s very strong and (literally) making you feel ill to your stomach.
  Yes, she’s not wrong to say that you should be more sensitive to other peoples situations, but it literally works both ways lol. Some people don’t like fragrances , some smells make people sick. I get migraines or headaches from smelling potpourri /overly fruity smelling perfumes. I move away from the person if I can, but if I can’t, I will let them know lol – Snommies
• NTA, her lack of smell dosen’t mean she has the right to spray strong fragrance in a small enclosed space. That’s rude, and possibly very irritating to those in board with perfume allergies and sensitive noses. If anything you should have let her know that her discomfort was caused by her own lack of manners, not you pointing them out to her. She made yours and many other folks flight uncomfortable so she can deal with a bit of grumpiness. – Geekfreak2000
• NTA I’m asthmatic so rhay flight would have been a nightmare for me I woupd have had to say something also – Churchie-Baby
• After reading some comments- NTA either way but if you have no sense of smell and you think you stink.. wear DEODORANT not perfume, trying to cover up with perfume is like trying to febreze dog crap you’ll just smell like BO and whatever cheap fragrance you’re using to hide it – sourdough_s8n
• NTA. If she has no sense of smell, she shouldn’t be applying perfume herself and needs to be told that it’s too much. It’s too bad she didn’t at least attempt to wash some of it off, but it’s possible that it had permeated her clothes and you wouldn’t have noticed a difference. – C_Majuscula
• Nta she has some nerve to say you made her uncomfortable. – imankitty
• (In response to the above comment) Right? Not a perfect comparison, but this reminds me when a very large person in boots stepped on my foot and when I shouted in pain, they were upset that the noise startled them. Lol what. The person causing the problems should be focused on the harm they caused, not how the harmed react. – paul_rudd_drag_race
• NAH. But your life will be more enjoyable if you adjust your expectations. What did you expect this woman to do with the info you gave her in a grumpy tone? You live in a society and not everyone is going to live to your standards, get over it. – regallll
• NTA. I have a favorite perfume (Portrait of Lady by Frederic Malle), and it’s my ultimate go-to, my signature scent, if you wish. I recognize that’s the scent is pretty strong, even if it’s in the smallest amount. I never, ever put this perfume — or any other, for that matter — before a flight. It’s just basic common sense. Especially considering that some people can be heavily allergic to specific components used in the perfume. – yellowdaffodils1

However there were some people who thought he was the A-hole: