For those who generally don’t fly in first class, there may be some mystique about the whole thing. That’s where the “special” people sit. It’s the place where passengers are given warm nuts, free alcohol, real silverware with food that doesn’t taste half bad, and sometimes even a lie-flat bed.
The closest some people get to first class is this humorous video about what it’d be like if an “everyday person” got to fly in first class.
Of course, for those who fly in first class, it’s another story. For some, it’s no big deal. Just an “it is what it is” sort of thing. But for others it’s apparently a show of their status; that they’ve “made it” and they don’t want anyone interfering with their moment.
The latter is the type of person a mother recently got into a confrontation with when she booked her family – including her toddler – first-class seats. Another passenger was not pleased, and let it known as such. The baby, to her credit, apparently behaved beautifully, but the woman still wanted to know if she was wrong to bring a toddler into what some apparently feel is a “sanctuary” of the first class section of a plane.
That’s the gist of the story someone wrote on Reddit a while back, in the “AITA” section. The initials represent the term, “Am I The A-Hole.” The community is defined as, “A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that’s been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you’re right, or you’re the a-hole.” It’s kind of like a “jury of your peers” sort of thing and you may eventually be determined to YTA (You’re The A-Hole) or NTA (Not The A-Hole).
Here’s the original post:
AITA for booking my toddler a first class seat?
My husband, toddler (almost 3) and I were flying across the country for Thanksgiving. Since we could afford it due to a nice pay raise my husband recently got, we decided to splurge on 1st class tickets for the trip.
Disclaimer: My toddler has always been a good flyer and has flown a lot throughout her short life. We follow our pediatrician recommendation to give her a dose of baby Tylenol and gripe water 30 minutes before travel and she’s never been disruptive or cried on an airplane, this flight included. She’s good at staying in her seat and tells us when she a needs to go potty, food, a toy, etc. She stayed seated and quietly playing throughout the flight, only getting up when she had to go potty.
The issue was with another 1st class passenger. We boarded early since my husband is disabled and when another 1st class passenger saw us he started glaring. Shortly after he sat down a flight attendant came up and asked to see our boarding passes to make sure we were seated correctly. We showed her our boarding passes and she was like “cool, yall are good”. A few minutes later a second flight attendant came up and asked again to see our boarding passes. We showed them and again she was like “cool yall are good”. We take off and all is good. My kid fell asleep in the middle of coloring, husband is snoozing, I’m listening to music when I get a tap on my shoulder. It was the guy that glared at us as he boarded and before I could even get a word out he told me that children weren’t allowed in 1st class and that we needed to move to our “real” seats. I realized he was probably the person that complained before takeoff that we were in the wrong seats and decided before I got upset I wanted the flight attendants to deal with this. I told him that I did not feel comfortable talking with him and that I was calling a flight attendant to come handle this. He got flustered but ultimately stood awkwardly next to me in the aisle until a flight attendant came to clear things up.
The flight attendant came and explained to him that we were in the correct seats that we paid for and asked that he sit back down and not bother us again. He did go back to his seat but as we were getting off the plane he whispered to me that I was a “fat c**t” and that he pays too much money for first class to be surrounded by children. My kid was the only kid in 1st class and she didn’t misbehave or even cry so at first I felt like I was in the right, but after talking to family at Thanksgiving many of them told me that we should book economy next time because people pay extra to relax in 1st class. Are we really assholes for flying 1st class with our toddler?
There were about 1,700 replies. I read a lot of them and they virtually all said the mother was right and the curmudgeon of a man was wrong. Here are some of the better replies (replies edited only for clarity or adult language):
- NTA. Even if your child did cry, it wouldn’t have mattered because you paid and are entitled to the seats you paid for. there is no age limit or policy that children cant be in 1st class (that i am aware of) if they don’t want to be around children/other people that bad – they should fly private. — General_kb
- NTA. I can understand why he would initially be wary and upset, but he frankly should have calmed the f down once it became apparent that your toddler was just sleeping peacefully like anyone else.
And since you know that your kid is a good flyer, there’s no reason not to sit first class if you can.
Though there’s something about your friends’ assumption that screaming babies should only be inflicted on the poors in economy that is sitting wrong with me somehow.
Aside from that, the fact that he went for the absolute lowest effort offensive remark at end tells me everything I need to know about what a sterling gentleman he is. Between your toddler and him, it’s easy to tell who the most disruptive passenger was.
I’m sure the attendants were thrilled to keep hearing from him /s — Covert_Pudding - The most unhinged thing striking me being is this person clearly assumed that both flight attendants had simply allowed this family to sit in First. Despite checking their tickets twice, and them not moving. So took it upon themself to attempt to correct this grievous error of this generous airline to bump disabled poors with a child up a class. My guy not only harassed OP and her family … BUT HARASSED A FAMILY WITH A DISABLED MEMBER!!! — sir_are_a_Baboon_too
- Imagine if this was literally any other group of human beings.
“I pay too much money to be surrounded by women.”
“I pay too much money to be surrounded by fat people.”
“I pay too much money to be surrounded by Muslims.”
“I pay too much money to be surrounded by old people.”
If those words had come out of this man’s mouth, would you have even a flicker of doubt that you were in the wrong?
You are NTA. Your child is a human being, a person. She deserves to be treated like a human being, a person. You paid for her seat. She sat in it and behaved like every other passenger in first. Bigots don’t get to dictate who is “allowed” to be in first class. — diagnosedwolf
(Note: The above started a subthread about other people who have every right to be in first class, even if they’re not neurotypical and present with behaviors that others may perceive as disturbing. i.e. someone with Tourette’s Syndrome or autism.) - NTA. I’ve seen plenty of kids in first class. He must not fly very often if he’s surprised by them. — Over_Washed6827
- Next time someone whispers to you that you’re a “fat c**t”, say very loudly to them, “What was that you just called me – a fat c**t? Can you say it louder so that you don’t look like a piece of s**t coward?” NTA. — SooshiBentoBox
- NTA, I work for an airline. We have very young children in first class all the time. If you know the gentleman’s seat number, you can file a complaint with the airline. Include your city pair, date and flight number. Regardless of how much this other passenger flies, they may earn a ban for harassing a family. — queue1102
- INFO: What is “gripe water” and how can I get ahold of it — stolethemorning
- (In reply to above, from the original poster) Gripe water is pretty much TUMS for children, but it’s in liquid form and also includes herbs like ginger and chamomile. Our pediatrician told us before her first flight at 4 months old that the change in pressures while flying doesn’t just hurt infant’s ears but can also cause an uncomfortable feeling of bloating/swelling in their stomachs and that gripe water can help relieve it. 10/10 would recommend. I’m gonna include a link to the brand we use, it’s been a lifesaver! My husband also used it in a pinch when we were out of Pepto and it helped settle his stomach. It’s not just for kids! https://www.littleremedies.com/remedies/stomach-gas-remedies/little-remedies-gripe-water-chamomile
- NTA. That guy was out of line. If he’s worried about a child being disruptive, that’s what headphones are for.– Mother_Tradition_774
- (this one was my favorite) You have a messed up family. Your toddler didn’t stop the dude from relaxing. He got himself all worked up with his hatred of women and children. May karma bless him with screaming babies on every flight for the rest of his hateful life. NTA — mouse_attack
Our take on it
Pretty much the same as everyone else. If there was a ticket bought for her, a toddler has every right to be in first class as anyone else. Even if she kicked and cried and screamed the whole time. Instead of being so hateful, the man could have been grateful the parents are raising her to be so well behaved, and took precautions to help that along.
If it were me, sure, I would have initially winced (ONLY INTERNALLY!) about the baby being there, simply because of the potential of what could happen when a passenger near you is a baby. I also would have made sure my noise-canceling headphones were at the ready. But if she behaved that well, I would’ve wound up complimenting her on how good she was during the flight, along with their parenting skills, on the way out (I’ve done this many times, BTW).
What do you think about this situation?
Feature Photo: Bridget Coila / flickr / CC BY-SA 2.0
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5 comments
A nearly 3 year old kid should not be much of an annoyance to others in any plane cabin if the accompanying adults for the toddler planned properly with food/drink, entertainment, sleep and such for the child. While many a parent are an awful judge of their own child’s behavior, most parents and children on planes seem to get it right as long as they put in the effort to focus on the child and planned properly. Then in such cases when there is a problem, it’s usually briefer and less painful to the other passengers than to the accompanying parents unless and until some insensitive jerks try to pile on the pressure onto the parents doing their best for transitory period or two when some children can feel uncomfortable more than usual on the ground.
This is a tough one. There are some places that small children absolutely don’t belong and premium airline cabins are one of them. However, once a child is able to communicate at least basic concepts like thirst, hunger, pain, needing to use the toilet, etc. then as long as the parent is willing to watch over the child on an ongoing basis there’s no real reason to exclude the kid.
One thing about flying: you see the very best and very worst of public behavior if you travel enough. On one flight back from Korea around a decade ago my wife and I were flying business class and a mother of a well-to-do Latin family with her kids ranging from around 10 down to an infant were in our cabin and boy that baby shrieked. When it became apparent that the mother had no intention of dealing with her squalling offspring the flight attendants tried to soothe the child to keep the other passengers from having outbursts. This happened numerous times on the flight and from the glares other passengers were giving the mother we weren’t alone in thinking that the infant should not have been in the cabin we paid extra for in order to have more space and solitude.
My kids have always flown with me up front starting at the age of 1. I flew my wife and oldest who was 1 at the time on Asiana F connecting thru ICN. There was a look of are kidding me as some other F PAX boarded but nobody checked out boarding passes multiple times. He crawled around the seat during boarding and fell asleep shortly after take off which allowed me and my wife to have some face to face dining in the sky. We put him in the empty suite next to us and that was it. All the other flights we did never had an issue. The only person that ever assumed I didn’t belong was an AA gate agent that told me to move to the side while I was folding the stroller to gate check so the First class passengers could board. I said cool and hand her all three of our F boarding passes. We got the first class boarding and the families need extra time boarding 🤣 Whoops. Just because I have my kids with me doesn’t mean I’m going to sacrifice flying up front. When we flew VX to HNL we all sat in F and the FA was super nice she loved our kid and gave him extra snacks and candy even while we deplaned. I miss that airline. I travel a lot for work so when I get special travel time with the family I make sure it’s in comfort and style it’s the least I can do for my wife.
The airline employee handled this correctly. However, if the family felt that this man was making them uncomfortable to the point they felt threatened, they should have reported this and attempted to have him removed from the plane. He was simply wrong. There is no rule against flying with your children in 1st class as long as you pay for the seat. If this man wanted a private jet experience, he should pay for that and go private next time. Even if the child had cried the entire trip, it would not have mattered, they were entitled to the seat. I used to fly weekly for years and year, domestic and international. Often times upgraded to first or bought first. You always think you have seen it all, but there are surprises from time to time. This gross man calling her a c–nt at the end of the flight is simply awful.
What a D**che…this guy was!!!
(Commented edited by YMMV due to adult language)