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12+ Oddball Cruise Tips & Tricks the Cruise Lines Will Never Tell You

a cruise ship in the water with birds flying in the sky

People are cruising much more than they used to. Whereas the typical cruise guest used to trend older and slightly more Republican, those demographics have really changed since the pandemic. Nowadays there are more cruise ships per cruise line, more cruise companies in general, and a cruise for every niche you can think of, from adult only, to family friendly, to swingers, to seniors, to party people, to the LGBTQIA+ community.

People who have cruised for years know “how” to cruise. They know the little ins and outs of their favorite cruise line, like if you’re going to get an XL Sea Terrace on Virgin Voyages, don’t get one towards the very, very front of the ship because it will have a metal balcony instead of a plexiglass one (there’s also a good chance you’ll get a stationary egg-shaped chair on that balcony instead of a hammock). Or that there are substantially fewer kids in Disney Cruise Lines’ dining rooms during the later seating. Or if you’re on a Royal Caribbean cruise, you can call them and get the Deluxe Drink package for just one person in your cabin, instead of everyone.

There are plenty of other little tips and tricks of the trade that cruise lines typically don’t tell you about that can help a first-time cruiser perhaps have a better time than they otherwise might. Here are some of them:

Don’t buy travel insurance from the cruise line

Don’t get me wrong; definitely buy travel insurance. But don’t buy it directly from your cruise line. The insurance they offer the cruise lines tends to offer lower protection but is oftentimes priced higher than what you may find for a similar or same policy you could find on, I dunno, InsureMyTrip.com.

Flying to the port? Get there early!

We’re going to assume you’re aware that airlines nowadays suck. The last thing you want is for your flight to be on the same day you’re supposed to start your cruise, because if your plane is delayed or cancelled – or if you miss your layover – guess which cruise ship isn’t going to wait for you to get there?

Arrive the day before. 2 days before, if it’s an international flight. You’ll have that much more padding if something with your flights goes wrong. And if it all goes right, you have a chance to explore the city for a bit, get used to any time changes, etc.

Bring your own OTC pharmacy

PC:Ben Schmin / flickr / CC BY-SA 2.0

When you’re on a cruise ship, you can’t stop at the local Walgreens to pick up that Pepto Bismol or box of tampons you unexpectedly need. The ship will probably carry some OTC items but at a crazily inflated rate. If you don’t mind paying $1 per aspirin, you do you. Otherwise, bring a little of everything for typical use and emergencies.

Don’t bring any form of marijuana/CBD

You can bring any OTC medication you’d typically find at a drug store, but you can’t bring your weed onto a cruise ship. Doesn’t matter if you’re on a cruise out of the U.S. or internationally, if it’s legal where you live, if it’s “just” CBD, if you have an Rx. for medical marijuana from your MD, etc. All forms of marijuana are against the rules on all cruise lines. Period.

If you happen to port at a place where pot is legal, go out and have a party. But don’t bring back any souvenirs, IYKWIM.

About those in-cabin safes

Just like in-room safes in hotels, in-cabin electronic safes are not the best place to keep your valuables if you want to keep them safe. We use one of these for our laptops, passports, etc.

Looking for a quiet cabin?

If you search on the internet, you should be able to find a deck plan for your ship. Look for cabins in whatever class you want that are both above and below more cabins. That way, you won’t be below the gym (and people dropping barbells at 7 a.m.) or a nightclub (that’ll play music until the early morning hours).

Don’t want to worry about hearing people in the hallway? Try to get a cabin on the far forward or read ends of the ship. Head up that although they’re quieter, these cabins also move the most during rough seas.

Worried about seasickness?

If you’re concerned about seasickness or even just the rocking of the boat, try to snag a cabin that’s centrally located on the ship. While the front and back of the ship will offer some up and down movement during rougher seas, the center of the ship feels less of it.

Your balcony isn’t as private as you think

Want a quick smoke but don’t want to go to the designated smoking area so you figure you’ll take a few quick puffs on your balcony? Want to get tan “everywhere?” Somehow managed to sneak some pot onto the ship and you want to take a toke? Feeling frisky and think it’s be cool for some bow chicky bow bow on the balcony outside your cabin?

DON’T DO IT.

Besides the fact that they can see a good number of balconies from the bridge, cruise ships also have cameras EVERYWHERE. You WILL be discovered. Depending on what you’re caught doing, you may be put on the brink (cruise jail) for the rest of the trip, fined a substantial amount, and/or permanently banned from the ship.

Topless sunbathing

And speaking of topless sunbathing, right now, there’s only one cruise line that allows it – Virgin Voyages (you know…the one that doesn’t allow anyone under 18 onto the ship). It’s only in one are of the ship, but it’s still one spot more than all the other cruise lines.

Oh, and heads up that’s topless sunbathing, not nude sunbathing. No cruise line will allow sunning of your nether regions.

Get-togethers for special interest groups

Regardless of what demographics you identify with, you may be part of a small sub-group where there may not be a whole lot of people who have the same interests as you. Cruise ships have got you covered.

It’s not always guaranteed, but if you’re a single/solo sailor, a friend of Bill W., looking for religious services or part of the LGBTQIA+ community and are looking for some like-minded people to gather with, your cruise may offer activities for you. Some cruise lines also have a bulletin board of sorts to help small niches of people in a sailing help find each other.

Wash your hands a LOT

Cruise lines are getting better with this, although not as good as when Covid was a bigger problem. But make sure to wash your hands a LOT. And if you see a dispenser with hand sanitizer, use it.

Y’see, before (and after) COVID-19, there were (and are) stomach bugs. Norovirus. Gastroenteritis. Some people are pigs and don’t wash their hands after they’ve used the bathroom. If they have even a microscopic bit of feces on their hands, anything they touch can be contaminated. So they touch a doorknob – and then you touch a doorknob – and then you sit down to eat that corn on the cob with your hands, and guess what you might come down with the next day?

Wash your hands.

Need to go to Guest Services?

Do it first thing in the morning or late at night. Otherwise, chances are it’s going to be super duper crowded.

Electricity access

Don’t expect to have many plugs in your cabin. Bring your own charging station or power strip – make sure it doesn’t have a surge protector! – to give you more plugs.

Storage helpers

Unless you go all out and spend a billion dollars on a suite, your storage space will likely be relatively limited.

Bringing a shoe organizer with you could help you organize lots of stuff. Just hang it from the bathroom door, and it’s great for all the little things you have with you: toothbrush and toothpaste, suntan lotion, sunglasses, etc.

I can’t guarantee it for all cruise lines, but sometimes cruise cabins have magnetic walls. You can find magnetic hooks on Amazon and the like (get strong ones), and they can be used for hanging things, such as your hat, bracelets/necklaces, or a sweater.

Just little ways to make your cabin tidier.

Prohibited items

Cruise ships will usually let you keep a power strip if it doesn’t have a surge protector. But sometimes they’ll think there’s a surge protector on it, still take it during embarkation, leave you a note that you tried to bring on a prohibited item and tell you that you can pick it up during debarkation (I may or may not have learned this from experience #virginvoyagesfebruary2024).

The bottom line is to use a search engine to find out what is prohibited on your cruise. Generally speaking, with the exception of hair care items, anything with a heating element will be prohibited.

Sleep more comfy

Cruises are lovely, but their beds are rarely as nice as those in hotel rooms. On most cruise lines, you can ask your cabin attendant for a bed topper, which may help a hard bed feel a little bit softer.

When specialty restaurants are cheaper

Virgin Voyages’ restaurants are all part of your package, and there are no upcharges to go to a certain eatery. That’s not the case with other lines, where you have to pay a certain amount to eat there.

If you’re not on Virgin Voyages and your restaurant of choice does charge to visit, see if you can go during lunch. Like most restaurants, the lunch menu is usually cheaper than the dinner menu.

Watch your account

As you continue on your cruise, watch your account for charges that shouldn’t be there. Some people have the same name, and sometimes a cabin number can be keyed in incorrectly. It’s an innocent mistake, but it still happens.

Reservations: the earlier, the better

If there’s something you want to do, sign up as early as you can. Restaurant reservations, going to the spa, a special gym class, you name it. Remember that several thousand other people may want to do the exact same thing, and space may be limited.

And if you didn’t get a reservation in time…

…show up anyway. Be there as a standby in case someone is a no-show.

Insider cabins

PC: Royal Caribbean

Years ago, I sang with my local choir on a Holland America cruise ship. To keep prices low, we all had insider cabins. And let me tell you, without windows, that room was DARK. All the time. Which isn’t an issue if you’re trying to sleep or you’ve turned the lights on. But let’s say you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Not so fun in pitch blackness, and if you turn a light on, it’s going to wake you up.

Bright a nightlight with you. There may or may not be an outlet in the bathroom, but having a nightlight on somewhere in the main part of your cabin should help.

And if you don’t bring a nightlight, turn the TV on – the ambient light should be enough to help you see your way.

Watch that boarding time

If you’re in port, make sure you know what time is the latest you can return back to the ship and if it’s local time or ship’s time.

Local time is whatever time it is where you are. Ship’s time is what time it is on the ship…which may or may not be whatever time it is from the port where you originally left.

Credit card usage

Using a credit card in port shouldn’t be a problem; after all, they’re used to patrons from different countries. You may want to tell your credit card company that you’re traveling, though. Yes, really.

The truth about debarkation time

Each ship has its own protocols for debarkation. Some assign you a time. Some allow you to pick a time. Some debark deck by deck.

Here’s a secret – you can ignore all of that. If you have a debarkation time of 9am and decide you’d rather leave at 8:30am, go. Do it. However, I’d strongly recommend you NOT leave your luggage out for them to pick up the night before. If you can handle your bags on your own, you really can just go whenever you want (well, up to the time when EVERYONE needs to be off the ship). If you give them your bags, you may be able to leave but your luggage may not meet you downstairs until your allotted time.

What did we miss?

This is, by far, not a complete list of tips and tricks for cruising. What did we miss?

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