It’s getting harder to remember, but there was a time when everyone on a plane was able to pick their seat when they made their reservation. FOR FREE! But around 2008 or so, airlines started experimenting with charging for seat selection, and it’s just gotten worse and worse ever since.
On nearly all airlines, those who don’t pay to choose their seats themselves are at the mercy of the airline, which arbitrarily assigns them their seats at some point before the flight. I say “arbitrarily,” but some airlines do seem to try to keep people together if they’re on the same ticket – especially if one or more of the passengers are minors. But for those who don’t, it means asking the gate agent for help in sitting next to each other. If that doesn’t work, passengers who want to sit together may have to negotiate with their fellow travelers, with or without the assistance of a flight attendant.
There have been plenty of stories of people who’ve begged, pleaded and outright lied to switch seats. And there have been people who’ve said yes to all and others who have said no. So whether you’re the potential “switcher” or the “switchee,” here’s how to negotiate switching seats “like a boss.”
If you want to switch seats
Wait until boarding is complete
Don’t start asking your fellow passengers to switch seats with you while people are still loading onto the plane. The airline’s goal is to take off on time and if you’re standing in the aisle, trying to get someone to move, or you cause someone else to stand in the aisle because they’ve agreed to switch and have to collect their luggage, there’s an excellent chance you’re blocking other people from getting into their seats in the first place.
Don’t just squat in someone else’s seat
We’ve explained seat squatters in the past. Say your partner has been assigned 15B and you’ve been assigned 27B. Don’t just take 15C; that seat has been assigned to someone else. And again, when the person assigned 15C gets there, you will all be blocking the aisle so others can’t get to their seats.
Be honest
If you have seat 17B and want to sit in 12A because your 6-year-old is in 12B, don’t tell the person in 12A that you’re offering them an aisle seat, exit row seat, etc. That’s a jerk move, and you’ll be found out quickly. What could happen is that the person in 12A returns to their seat and starts causing a disturbance to switch back, prompting the flight attendants to get involved to prevent a confrontation. And remember, they have the authority to remove you from the plane.
Be polite
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Telling the person in 20D that they “gotta move” so you can sit next to your kid in 20E isn’t the way to entice anyone. Be kind. Explain the situation. Say “please” and “thank you.” Someone is doing you a favor; act like it. Your parents undoubtedly taught you manners; use them.
A little bribery never hurt
You didn’t pay for that middle seat you’re trying to switch from, but chances are the person in the aisle seat you’re aiming for did pay for that seat assignment. So, offer to repay them (you don’t necessarily need cash; many people use payment apps these days). You could offer a drink or snack (and be sure to follow through!). Sweeten the deal.
Don’t argue (but get the flight attendant involved if you need to)
You might do everything right and the person in 14C might still say no (they do have that right). If you need to sit next to your young child, or someone who needs special assistance because of a physical or mental impairment, it’s OK to ask the FA to intervene. But if you just want to sit next to your friend or spouse “just because,” and it would mean 14C would be separated from their friend or spouse and they say no? Let it be.
Know for next time
There was a time when paying for seat assignments was relatively new, and some people weren’t aware of the requirement. That’s not the case anymore. If you want to sit next to whoever it is, pay for the privilege like everyone else.
If someone asks to switch seats with you
If someone asks you to switch seats, you, of course, have the right to say yes or no. Some people will always say no, because of reasons. Don’t always be that person.
Yes, I know it’s an inconvenience. You may wind up in a seat further back. You might even wind up in a middle seat. But if it’s a matter of that or sitting next to an unattended 3-year-old which is the lesser of 2 evils?
Of course, if someone just wants to sit next to their able-bodied and able-minded partner, you have more reason to hold your ground if you don’t want to move. But if you’d rather not switch, get the flight attendant involved, as the situation could escalate quickly—not only with the person who wants to switch, but if a fellow passenger decides to mediate (this happened to us once. ‘Aw, go ahead and switch. It’s no skin off your teeth!’ I didn’t tell him to mind his own business, but it sure crossed my mind…).
If you have nothing to do with either party
Mind your own business. Easy as that.
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