Oftentimes, people who collect points and miles for travel are told they have first-world problems. You know the kind: debating whether to fly to Vietnam on Emirates or Singapore Airlines. Or planning a layover in Dublin just so you can leave the airport for a quick lunch in the city.
Are those first-world problems? Absolutely. But while we’ve faced decisions like those, one of the most stress-inducing choices I regularly make is much more basic: figuring out what seats my wife Sharon and I are going to pick on a flight.
Yes, I’m talking about choosing airplane seats.
When flying in international business class, the dilemma might be whether to sit one behind the other in window seats or take a middle pair. But the reality is, most of our flights are domestic, usually on narrow-body planes with a 3-3 configuration. And that’s where it gets trickier.
The Window + Aisle Trick
Over the years, we’ve used the common trick of booking a window and an aisle seat in the same row, hoping no one would pick the middle seat between us. It’s a well-known strategy among frequent flyers. We’ve always been considerate, though. If someone got the middle seat, we’d offer them the window (Sharon prefers the aisle, especially on longer flights). For shorter hops, we might even let them have the aisle and slide over to the middle.
Was this wrong? Maybe. But it was a calculated gamble for a bit of extra comfort—never at anyone else’s expense.
Why We Changed Our Strategy
We’ve stopped using that strategy. Why? Because flights are almost always full these days. Domestic planes are running near or at capacity, and banking on an empty middle seat just isn’t realistic anymore.
So we adapted.
Our New Go-To: Two Aisle Seats
These days, our preferred setup is booking two aisle seats across from or behind each other. We’re more likely to text each other than chat across the row, and it gives us both direct aisle access—helpful for longer flights and getting to the lavatory.
Bonus: I can still help Sharon get her bag into the overhead bin. (Note from Sharon: if you’re new to our blog, I’m 4’6″ tall; I can’t reach the overhead at all).
Also, now that I know how to raise the aisle armrest, I no longer feel obligated to give up armrest space to a middle-seat neighbor.
But Don’t We Still Sit Together?
Sometimes. If two adjacent aisle seats aren’t available—or if they’re all priced as “preferred seats” with a fee attached—we might opt for an aisle and middle seat combo. For short flights, it’s not worth paying extra just to be on the aisle.
And Occasionally, We Sit Apart
There are plenty of flights where we don’t sit together at all. I like extra legroom; Sharon doesn’t need it. (Her words: “Again, I’m 4’6″. I don’t need leg room. LOL.”)
She’s also not comfortable sitting in the exit row since she doesn’t feel she could assist in an emergency (From Sharon: my days of being able to comfortably lift 50 pounds are over). So if I take an exit row or Southwest’s extended legroom seat, she’s fine with a nearby standard seat.
One Time We Had a Stranger Between Us
There was even one flight where I took the window, Sharon took the aisle, and we had a stranger in the middle. We didn’t talk the whole time, and when I grabbed Sharon’s bag from the overhead after landing, the seatmate was surprised—we hadn’t seemed like we were traveling together.
Final Thought
Our seating decisions used to be about optimizing for comfort if a middle seat stayed empty. But with fewer empty seats than ever, our strategy has shifted. Now, it’s about comfort and practicality in a full cabin.
Two aisle seats. Aisle and middle. Maybe even seats apart if that gets us more legroom or a better experience. Occasionally, we’ll still book a window and aisle—but only if that’s what we really want, not because we’re hoping to get lucky.
And yes, if I get the window, the shade will be open. I will be looking out the entire flight.
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