The One Step of My Online Passport Renewal That Nearly Broke Me

by joeheg

Renewing your passport as recently as a year or two ago was a major process. After filling out your paper application, getting a mini headshot, and writing a check to the U.S. government, you sent everything in by mail, including your expiring/expired passport, and hoped for the best.

That’s how my wife renewed her passport almost two years ago. And thankfully, she got her new one back in 17 days.

However, when my passport was about 6 months from expiring, being able to renew online had since become a permanent option from the State Department.

Renewing your U.S. passport online may seem like a straightforward process. No post office lines, no certified mail, no wondering if your check is stuck in a government building for six weeks. You upload a few details, pay the fee, and boom—done.

I was going through the online application and reached the passport photo upload step. And suddenly, I wasn’t renewing my passport—I was taking a masterclass in lighting design, facial geometry, and background neutrality.

How hard could it be to take a photo of yourself against a plain white wall?

Very, it turns out.

Welcome to the Passport Photo Obstacle Course

The instructions go on for pages—literally. You scroll. You read. You see examples that make you start second-guessing everything you’ve ever known about what a wall looks like.

Is that wall off-white or eggshell?
Are shadows evil? (Yes.)
Can my shoulder be too… present?

According to the guidelines:

  • You need a plain, texture-free background
  • You must have balanced lighting (good luck, bathroom light)
  • You cannot use a filter or edit your photo
  • No selfies allowed
  • And—my favorite—you must not smile (Here’s the reason you’re not allowed to smile)
a man in a tie

Your background has a map? Too interesting. Your furniture peeked in? Start over.

I tried. I failed. I drove to the drugstore

I spent way too long moving around the house, trying to find a wall that didn’t have a light switch, bookshelf, or suspicious shadows creeping in. Then I enlisted my wife to be my passport photographer. How hard could it be to take a photo in front of a plain white wall?

Again, very hard.

We tried. We adjusted the lighting. We moved picture frames. We tried again.

Every attempt had something wrong: a picture frame sneaking into the edge of the photo, a mysterious shadow making it look like I was lurking in a cave, or an angle that made me look deeply confused by life.

You know how they say hanging wallpaper is a true test of a relationship? In 2025, I’m convinced that trying to take a passport photo together is the modern version of that.

After several unsuccessful (and increasingly tense) rounds of “Try it again, but straighter,” I did what any reasonable person would do: I grabbed my keys and drove to Walgreens.

a man with a light on his face

I could find nowhere in my home without casting a shadow.

And in less than three minutes, I had a perfect passport photo. Balanced lighting. Blank background. No rogue furniture. No marital strain. And the best part? They emailed me a digital copy—ready to upload, no scanning required.

Let the Pros Handle It

Renewing online is really easier, but only if you outsource the most challenging part: the photo. Unless you own professional lighting equipment and have a friend who moonlights as a DMV photographer, skip the home attempt.

Save yourself the frustration, the scrolling, and the inevitable “Where is that shadow coming from?” moment. Just go to the drugstore. Stand. Don’t smile. Done.

a man in a white shirt

Smiling? Clearly you’re a threat to national security.

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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary

3 comments

Travelin' Tim June 6, 2025 - 4:38 pm

I had to put a white poster board behind me.

Reply
Steven June 7, 2025 - 2:24 am

Lots of apps for selfie passport pictures

Reply
Dev June 7, 2025 - 2:16 pm

I have used my AAA Club benefit for ours. Cheap , fast, and easy.

Reply

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