Over 30 (Thirty? UGH!) years ago, comedian Jeff Foxworthy released a comedy album called, “You Might Be A Redneck If…” It peaked at #38 on Billboard. The album included a segment of examples of how you might be a redneck if you do these things. Here’s a TV spot with the routine from 1989:
Of course, the same thing goes for traveling…
You might be a travel addict if…
- Travel apps are the majority of apps on your phone (we especially recommend these)
- Your bucket list keeps getting longer
- You have trips planned for the next decade
- You feel a sense of accomplishment when you’ve snagged an awesome hotel stay on points
- You feel even more accomplished when you book an amazing award flight (this one is Joe’s personal best and it wasn’t even for us!)
- You can get through airport security with your eyes closed
- You can pack your suitcase in 10 minutes. 15, tops
- You have a drawer completely filled with travel-sized containers
- You can fall asleep anywhere (this technique might help!)
- You know the seating chart for several airplanes
- You have a favorite seat on each of those airplanes
- You know little tips and tricks for every aspect of travel
- You enjoying planning trips for other people
- You regularly use terms like transcon, TATL and TPAC
- You know the airline safety briefing by heart
- You have a suitcase that’s always half packed and ready to go
- You have no problem asking strangers for directions
- You have currency from every country you’ve visited in your wallet
- Your favorite things to read are travel blogs and travel guides
- Going home is like a vacation from your vacations
- Waking up at home feels weird
- You go to travel conferences several times a year
- You have credit cards based on their mileage/points programs (if you’re new to using credit cards for points & miles, read this)
- You know phrases in multiple languages (I can ask, “Where’s the toilet” in at least 3 languages but won’t be able to understand the answers LOL!)
- You know how your name is pronounced in multiple languages
- When people ask you about your hobbies, they all include the word, “travel”
- You know your way around many airports
- You have given directions to tourists in a place where you don’t live
- You don’t do cashback; you do points
- Solo travel is no big deal to you
- Your friends and family have told you they live vicariously through your travels
- You know how to avoid jet lag like a pro (some techniques are here, in the 4th section down)
- You see your job as a way to afford your next trip
- Small talk starts with, “Have you ever been to…?”
- You have more miles in the air than on your car
- You know the best places to eat in airports (Have you been to One Flew South? How about Cask & Larder?)
- You know your passport number by heart
- You know your hotel or airline rewards numbers by heart
- You have lots and LOTS of SIM cards
- You have a playlist specifically for when you’re in a plane
- At least half of your junk mail is travel-related
- You’ve signed up for every flight deal newsletter out there
- Nothing excites you more than traveling
- You keep track of how many countries you’ve been to
- You can give restaurant recommendations in countries you don’t live in
- Instead of summer/winter, your clothes are divided into the ones for home and the ones for travel
- You have to get a new passport before the 10 years are up because you have no more room for stamps
- You can name a friend in almost every country you’ve visited
- All of your disposable income goes towards traveling
- You can accurately guess the weight of your suitcase without the digital scale that you bring with you when you travel
- Right off the top of your head, you know the 3-letter code for at least 10 airports
- You have plans for several trips in the future
- You’re in a bad mood if you don’t have several trips in the future planned
- You’d never waste a PTO day on merely feeling sick – you need to save it for traveling
- You start a lot of stories with, “When I was in…”
- People from grammar school private message you on Facebook to get advice about their upcoming trips
- You write a travel blog
Are you a travel addict? If so, what else can you add to the list?
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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary
2 comments
Some additions to consider:
1. You recognize the flight crew as they are going through security.
2. The flight crew also recognizes you
3. Hotel staff see you walk through the front door and start checking you in.
4. The hotel bartender notices you checking in and starts pouring your drink
5. You keep trying to use your room key on the room # from your previous trip (note that “previous trip” could mean “yesterday”)
6. You take a photo of your parking spot at the airport because this is the 5th time you’ve parked it this month..
7. Your laptop remembers the wifi settings at the hotel
8. You accidentally left your bluetooth earpiece in the airplane seatback pocket, and you get it back the next week because you were sitting in the same seat on the same plane (true story!)
9. You have train tickets/cards for at least 3 different cities in your wallet
10. You have at least 50 bars of soap at home (hotel-sized)
11. TSA agents recognize you at the airport (not just your home airport — other airports as well!)
12. The weather app on your phone defaults to another city
LOLOL! Well done!