This Hotel Was A Lawsuit in Waiting. They’ve Now Got Bigger Problems

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I wrote a piece a while back about a hotel that had a then-new tourist attraction. At the time, it was the poster child for, as my mom used to say, “all fun and games, until someone breaks their head open.”

In re-examining it now, about 2 years later, I don’t see any references to lawsuits. However it looks as if the place has much more to worry about. Here’s what I originally wrote, followed by an update:

Sometimes you look at what someone has invented in the name of fun, and you have to shake your head and wonder what they were thinking.

Case in point was this new, “fun” way to get from Point A to Point B. Yeah, that one was permanently closed less than 24 hours after its grand opening.

And now there’s another attraction that’s undoubtedly going to hurt, maim or kill someone one of these days, all in the name of fun. It’s not in Spain though; it’s in Peru.

The Maliah Beach Club, located in the Zorritos District of Peru, is described as a “low key property offering ocean views, plus an outdoor pool, dining & a bar.” The hotel gets an average of 3 stars on Trip Advisor and the few reviews I can find for the place suggests it’s “meh” to “OK.”

However, the hotel has recently gotten a lot of attention because of a new attraction they’ve added to their beachfront property and it seems to be pretty popular.

The hotel installed it in early-mid 2020, and I’m not sure if it has a name, but it’s a floating bridge that goes from the beach to a platform that’s probably about 200 or so feet into the water. The platform appears to act as a small floating dock. The bridge takes in solar energy during the day so it can be illuminated at night, and was installed to promote water sports such as the use of sailboats, jet skis and yachts.

@maliahbeachclub

♬ Maradona – Chey

That’s all well as good, as long as the waters are calm. But you’re talking about the Pacific Ocean, which doesn’t necessarily listen when you say, “Stay calm because I have to walk on this bridge to get back to shore.”

So sometimes you’ve got a bridge that’s really not super sturdy:

@maliahbeachclub

Plataforma flotante en Zorritos / Tumbes .Aguanta las olas sin problema .

♬ Paparazzi – Kim Dracula

And sometimes you’ve got people on that not-so-sturdy bridge:

@maliahbeachclub

♬ Señorita – Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello

And when it’s REALLY not sturdy:

@maliahbeachclub

♬ Up – Cardi B

Here’s what it looks like when you’re on the bridge when the Pacific is acting up:

@maliahbeachclub

Zorritos , Maliah Beach Club

♬ Buss It – Erica Banks

Of course, the videos show all young, apparently athletic people on the bridge. You KNOW that not everyone who walks on it is 20 years old and plays football (soccer) on the weekends. So you KNOW that, at some point, someone is going to lose their balance, fall on the bridge and hurt themselves. Or fall OFF the bridge and hurt themselves. Or fall on the bridge, hit their head, and then get thrown off the bridge and into the water. Good times.

Granted, I live in the United States, which is a very litigious nation. I’m sure if it was installed in the U.S. and someone was on it and got hurt or worse, they’d try for a lawsuit faster than your head could spin. In Peru, probably not so much.

But still, someone’s gonna get hurt.

I gotta say though – save for the dangerous part of it; it does look like a lot of fun 😉

January 2023: UPDATE!

So yeah, the above was written in March, 2021. It doesn’t look as if thing have gone really well for the Maliah Beach Club since then. Their reviews were always kind of middle-of-the-road, but it looks as if the entire resort has gone way, WAY downhill. These are some of the more recent comments on Google Reviews (translated from their original Spanish):

• 1 out of 5 stars. The room had broken air conditioning, it has no windows, the lamps are without bulbs, the customer service was horrible, the staff is unfriendly in all areas of the hotel. — Maria R. (3 weeks ago)
  
• 2 out of 5. The rooms smelled of urine. Lots of noise all night. Very old, with old mattresses. They don’t even have a towel for the bathroom– Carlos F. (4 weeks ago)
  
• 1/5 The beach is very rough. The rooms totally neglected, the sheets and mattresses.
  They leave a lot to be desired. Dirty pool with the smell of urine. They put the bracelet on you to make use of all the facilities that they don’t have. Pure feint, super expensive. Utter disappointment. — Cecelia C. (4 weeks ago)
  
• 1/5 Terrible service, too expensive for what they offer, we arrived and the hotel is under renovation. Too expensive for what it offers, there were cockroaches in the room. I do not recommend it. — Alessandra A. (a month ago)
  
• 1/5 Restaurant: the prices are high for the quality they offer and they did not accept my card, the breakfast is very basic, they only have papaya juice.
  Reception: For payments they did not accept my card because there was no network but it turns out that the corner store did accept card
  Parking: 5 cars enter comfortably and 3 take them to a ramp where you can get corked.
  Rooms: the doors do not provide security, since they are made of glass and open on all sides when sliding. — Ronald G. (5 months ago)
• 3/5 The lady who attended us was quite obnoxious, she was quite annoyed by the dollars we gave her and she did not explain well that it cost 40 dollars PER PERSON. On the other hand the room was fine but nothing to write home about, for the price I expected more. Apart from that they made noise in the bar area until late and the breakfast was not good at all. — Maria B. (2 months ago)
• 1/5 For the price it did not measure up, everything is expensive, a beer 18 soles, all night noise does not let you rest, breakfast 3 pekipanes and a glass of juice. The pool in the middle of the rooms, does not have a good view. There are better hotels with good location for that price. I do not recommend it. — Jorge G. (2 months ago)
• 3/5 Room without closet. Inflatable games produce cuts on the skin. — Harold Tapia (3 months ago)
• 1/5 1. Only wifi at reception, zero wifi in rooms.
  2. The doors of the rooms do not work in their entirety.
  3. Breakfast is miserable.
  4. Terrible service at reception and in the restaurant.
  5. It is more comfortable to sleep on the floor than in beds.
  6. They charge 40 dollars per person, not per room.
  7. They make you the change from Dollar to Sol at whatever they want and they only accept cash, not card (they say that the signal does not reach them but in the bar and in the store on the side you can pay with card).
  8. You have to pray for hot water.
  9. They do cleaning only when the room is vacated. — Maria B. (5 months ago)

And as for their big attraction, the floating bridge? It’s rarely open. From reviews over the past year:

• The attraction that is the floating bridge does not work and it is a gamble when they put it to work — Carlos F.
• We went to see the floating dock but it doesn’t work… — Cecelia C.
• …the platform is not available. — Alessandra A.
• The biggest attraction is the floating dock, where many months have passed (JULY 2021) and they still haven’t opened it, they indicate that it is because of the waves. — Fernando V.
• Floating platform: on a holiday and it was not enabled, they waited until the last day to install it when everyone left the hotel. — Ronald G.
• The floating platform, one of its main attractions, is not always available. — Diego L.
• The days I went the pool or the dock were not available, if they go they run the risk that those days the dock will not work. — Eduardo V.

So, yeah. Apparently this is what the platform looks like nearly all of time time:

I guess if the platform isn’t in use, there’s less chance of people getting hurt on it? But still, if that’s what they’re the most famous for and it’s rarely open…?

And yeah, I know, I know…they’re damned if they do and they’re damned if they don’t. Either it’s open and someone could get really hurt, or it’s closed and people who went specifically because of the floating bridge are disappointed. But they’re the ones who built the thing in the first place, so…

Meanwhile, with that, on top of the poor customer service, high prices, lack of basic amenities (Towels. Working air conditioning, etc.), noise, filth, questionable food, etc., I don’t know how long they’ll be able to stay in business.

On top of all this, Peru is currently in the midst of a multi-year political crisis that appears to be growing. Right now most of the unrest and protests are taking place in the southern part of the country, and Zorritos District, where the Maliah Beach Club is located, is very far north; almost on the Ecuadorean border. But the strife in the country certainly can’t help a hotel that’s already only #5 of 8 lodges in the area, and falling quickly.

Time will tell.

Feature Photo: picpedia

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This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary