When you stay at hotels once or twice a year, if that, you’re typically happy with everything you get. A coffeemaker in the room! A lighted magnifying mirror! And OMG, wouldya look at that – just press a button and your closet can be a NIGHTCLUB!
But when you start staying at hotels on a more regular basis, you start to have more opinions about what’s important to you and what isn’t.
Unfortunately, what we, as paying guests, think is important, apparently isn’t on the wish list of hoteliers who try to make a big deal out of the mundane, like proudly serving Starbucks coffee in the lobby. Out of a carafe that’s been sitting there for an hour.
So here are some of the things we’d like, versus what hotels offer us instead – and then wonder why we don’t give them as many stars as they think they deserve.
Electronics
We would like
It’s 2026, y’all. We’re looking for USB-C outlets. If not those, we’re looking for enough freakin’ OUTLETS, preferably near the bed (so I don’t have to haul out the 10′ extension cord that I bring everywhere)
Actual HIGH speed Wi-Fi in the rooms, please.
But instead they give us
USB-A. And that’s only if we’re lucky. Sometimes it’s George Bush–era alarm clocks that were specially made to accommodate iPods. And that may only be on one side of the bed; if you sleep on the other side? Too bad, so sad….just plug into the outlet that’s across the frickin’ room.
And that Wi-Fi? Some places still offer tiered pricing for that (unless you have status). Or it may be super slow crap in the rooms, but you’re welcome to come downstairs and use our Wi-Fi in the lobby! (what, in my pajamas?)
But don’t worry – there’s a landline phone in the room.
Oh! And if you need the use of a fax machine, they’re ready for ya!
Television access
What we would like
Look, we understand that cable costs a lot of money. But could you please at least let us stream, so we don’t have to jump through hoops like these to do so?
But instead they give us
Pay-Per-View and On Demand. Yep, it’s still out there!
Food & beverage
What we would like
After spending $3 on a can of Coke Zero from your overpriced vending machine (we all know you bought a case of those cans from Costco for about 50 cents apiece) it sure would be nice to have a mini fridge to store it overnight.
But instead they give us
A mini bar. A pre-filled one. And heaven forbid you move anything in it, and the sensor’s going to go off and you’re going to get charged $4 for THAT can of Coke.
Pricing
What we would like
Knowing, up front, when we make our reservation, what we’re going to pay or could potentially have to pay for.
But instead they give us
Baggage hold fees, business center fees, cancellation fees, early check-in fees, extra person fees, internet fees, late checkout fees, minibar surcharges, parking fees, pay-per-view fees, resort/amenity fees, room service surcharges, telephone usage fees.
Other things hotels offer us and expect us to be thrilled
Sewing kits
Sure, I suppose “button emergencies” happen here and there but…?
Alarm clocks
It’s 2026. 97% of us have cell phones that have built-in alarm clocks in them already. Which is to say nothing of the alarm clocks that have the wrong time because no one changed them after Daylight Saving Time. Or the ones that are pre-set to wake you up at 3am and you don’t notice until it goes off at 3am and scares the crap out of you.
Slippers & bathrobes
We know that blankets aren’t washed very often; what about those bathrobes they leave for you in the closet? And sure, the paper slippers are disposable, but when there are plastic slippers? Ummmm….nope.
Lighted magnifying mirror
Does anyone REALLY decide to use a hotel room to pluck their nose hairs or pop their zits and therefore think a lighted magnifying mirror would be a great thing?
A definite disconnect
So yeah…there is still a HUGE chasm between what hotels offer their guests and what hotel guests actually want. When we reach a happy medium, it’s always a great day. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen nearly enough.
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