I F30 don’t have the best relationship with my husband’s mom. Since day one she tried to make remarks and compare me to her ??. She then tried to get on my good side and started overly praising everything I do and sometimes even copying me like that one time when she LITERALLY dyied her hair purple just like mine and when everyone pointed out how ridiculous she looked, she actually blamed me and accused me of trying to make a joke out of her.

So, Anyways! My husband and I took 2 weeks off work to go visit some places out of the country – tourism in other words. Thing is I was the one who saved up for and arranged for the trip (my husband was responsible for booking the tickets). My husband’s mom wanted to come along and threw temper tantrums when I said no. She called, texted, sent people to talk to me into letting her come, even threatened to call the police and make some complaint up to get us to stay if she can’t come. My husband said we should just take her but I told him he was wrong to tell her about the trip in the first place. He gave me an ultimatim. said he wouldn’t go if she can’t come and I told him I’d gladly call his bluff which made him take his words back and say “FINE! I will tell her to stop it because we won’t take her”.

Things got quieter, suspeciously quieter. the day of the trip came and we got to the airport at 2pm. My husband was walking ahead of me and was looking left and right like he was looking for someone. I asked him but he didn’t respond. He lead me to the waiting area and first thing I saw was his mom standing there with her luggage . I froze in my spot, I felt a cold wave washing over me and I was fuming inside. She and my husband were hugging that’s when I quietly turned around and started walking towards the exit. My husband followed me while shouting at me to stop. he tried to stop me but I told him off the harshest way possible. He tried to say I was overreacting and that his mom was there “anyway” and I should let it go and not mess the trip up for us. I told him he and his mom could still go and that I was going home.

I went home and sobbed into my dog’s fur for several minutes. turned out he booked her a ticket without me knowing. an hour later he came home yelling and raging about how pathetic and spiteful I was to walk out and go home and ruin the trip last minute. I told him he caused this to happen. he said that I was being so hard on his mom it’s ridiculous. I refused to fight any more but he kept on berating me then called my family to tell them that the trip was cancelled and that it was because of me. My family said that I shouldn’t have ruined it for myself and should’ve sucked it up and done my best to enjoy.

Did I really overreact?

Y’all, 6,300 replies and I have yet to find one that suggests she was the A-hole. Here are some of the better responses (edited only for adult language and clarification):

• IN what world are you the AH?
  You set boundaries, Quite freaking reasonable ones, and Your hopefully soon to be EX husband and his mother have stomped on them forever.
  I suggest going to a hotel, and have a lovely time alone while you consider a lawyer.
  Edited to add NTA, Good grief NTA – Simply_Toast
• this is reeking of a unhealthy mother-son relationship NTA, BTW – trashyteal
• I don’t wanna call the divorce card but.. divorce. You told your boundaries, you said no. She crossed it. Your husband told you he would tell her no, he lied. He tried to pin you in a corner by not saying anything and bringing her anyways and got upset you refused to be a part of his little trap?? And then to berate you?? He’s not a good man. He needs to go. – PeanutButter_Toast_
• NTA! I actually like my fiancé’s mom and I’d be pissed if she inserted herself into a vacation like that, and if my fiancé went along with it. – arrowsnsuch
• NTA. Choose the dog, OP. Ditch the lying, manipulative husband and his psychotic mother. I’m sorry you’re being bullied by two such horrible people, OP.
  Thank goodness for dogs. Dogs are the best ❤️🐶 – DowntownClock1632
• He had the f**king nerve to try to tattle tell to your own parents like you’re some sort of naughty seven year old?! HELL to the entire f**k NO!
  Tell him he needs to leave and move in with his mother. He should not be your problem anymore. What a collosal waste of a person! – itsjustmo_
• NTA. He gave you an ultimatum- no loving partner would ever put you in that position. He’s a mummy’s boy and she’s manipulative and toxic. You have every right to enjoy a holiday with your husband without them behaving like children.
  You did the right thing. The next right thing to do is leave. He doesn’t respect you. – RubyLarkspur87
• Definitely NTA. You know that if you had sucked it up and gone with them, the entire vacation would be all about catering to his mom. Whatever SHE wanted to do. Whatever places SHE wanted to go, places SHE wanted to eat. You’d be the third wheel on your own vacation. – savethebooks
• NTA. She threatened to CALL THE COPS on you because you wouldn’t invite her on vacation and your husband STILL thinks you should just pacify her??? What the actual f**k??
  You have a MIL problem and a husband problem. Yelling and screaming at you and trying to manipulate the family against you is abusive, s**tty behavior. That is NOT normal.
  If anything you are UNDER reacting here. – EmiliusReturns
• Surprised Oedipus and Jocasta didn’t go enjoy their honeymoon after they got rid of you 🤮 NTA – DelsMagicFishies
• NTA.
  How does your husband have sex with Mommy’s umbilical cord still wrapped around his neck?
  He lies to you, then gaslights you by trying to make you think that you’re the problem when you are justifiably upset. Worse, he recruits your family to gaslight you on his behalf.
  This is abuse. Abusive relationships don’t require hitting. You need to divorce Mommy’s boy. – charlotte-ent

You get the point.

I admittedly didn’t read every single response (however, I did read a whole, whole lot of them), but I did see 1 or 2 that questioned if the situation was real (It’s Reddit. People make crap up. But unfortunately, in today’s world, I could easily see something like this happening within a dysfunctional family). But other than that, no one suggested the OP (original poster) was the A-hole.

And an update

The person who wrote the above eventually wrote a follow-up post as an update. (here’s the link. Again, there’s adult language)

Obviously, families, and especially in-laws, can have all kinds of relationships. Some are wonderful, some not so wonderful, and sometimes people wind up in situations like the poor woman above.

It sounds as if she was going to end the marriage, although she doesn’t give an update to the update (and the ID she used was only for her 2 threads).

Of course, Reddit allows anonymous posting, and hundreds of threads are 100% fake. We’ll never know if this one was fake or not. But if it was real, I hope there was a happy ending, and she could do whatever was best for her.

What do you think?

Assuming the above did happen, do you think she was an A-hole?

Feature Photo: Vic / flickr

Want to comment on this post? Great! Read this first to help ensure it gets approved.
Want to sponsor a post, write something for Your Mileage May Vary or put ads on our site? Click here for more info.

Like this post? Please share it! We have plenty more just like it and would love it if you decided to hang around and sign up to get emailed notifications of when we post.

Whether you’ve read our articles before or this is the first time you’re stopping by, we’re really glad you’re here and hope you come back to visit again!

This post first appeared on Your Mileage May Vary