Full disclosure: save for one flight in Asia (one where the overheads were positioned for a country whose residents tended to be on the short side), I have never put my carry-on bag into the overhead by myself. I would be very happy to. But at 4’6″ tall, I simply can’t reach them.
If Joe (my husband) and I are traveling together, he’ll put my carry-on in the overhead and then take it back down for me. If I’m traveling alone, I’ll ask a fellow passenger if they can put it up there for me (and then take it down again at the end of the flight). I know not to ask the flight attendants because they’re technically not allowed to help with the overheads. It puts them at risk of injury, and I respect that.
However, I just read a story on Reddit about a man who offered to help an older woman put her bags in the overhead and he wound up getting scolded for it. When I first read the title, I thought, “Geesh, how stubborn and independent could one older woman be? Just say ‘No thanks’ and get on with your life, lady!” Turns out nope, that’s not who yelled at him.
The story
The story was written by a woman who said the event happened to her boyfriend, but she was there to witness the whole thing.
In a retelling of the incident on Reddit, she explains that their seats were in Comfort Plus but, “…we were stuck behind an older lady in first class (Row 1) who was having trouble putting her carry-on in the overhead bin.”
She remembers that her boyfriend saw the woman struggling, so he “offered to help her.” She then said that the older passenger “got out of the way into her seat, and he lifted her suitcase into the bin and moved on.”
There initially seemed to be no problem – nice guy giving assistance to someone who needed the help – but then things started going south.
As the OP (original poster) and her boyfriend continued on after they helped the older woman, a man who had a seat in the second row seemed to get the impression that the boyfriend had dropped off HIS carry-on bag in first class and was continuing down to the back of the plane.
She said, “An older man in Row 2 saw him walk past first class and immediately yelled, ‘Hey! That space is for first class only!’”
As they passed him, OP tried to explain to the angry man that they were only helping the woman in Row 1, but he didn’t seem to hear her.
She continued that her boyfriend just shook his head, rolled his eyes and said, “Keep walking.”
OP titled the story of the incident as a case of “first class defensiveness.”
She added at the end, “I’m pretty annoyed although obviously this isn’t worth any confrontation. But I do feel like we need to chill out a little with assuming the worst in people.”
Amen, sister. Amen.
The response
Since this was Reddit, there were lots and LOTS of responses. Close to 500 of them, at last count. Some of them were on spot:
- IMAGINE being that miserable! — vanwyngarden
- You should have just kept saying, “What?” Louder and louder until he worked himself up and got kicked off the plane and then taken his seat. — OhJahaerys (I thought that one was GENIUS)
- People should mind their own business.– jfk_47
- That’s people nowadays. I work in the hotel industry and we have to deal with miserable people like him and worse EVERY DAY…. And people wonder why no one wants to work in the service industry anymore. 🤷🏼♀️ You’re right, we need to be kinder to each other. Kudos to your boyfriend for helping the old lady.– Alert_Winter_6609
- People can really suck sometimes for absolutely no reason. I personally love the old white boomers who say “this isn’t the line for your people” while boarding. I’m an early thirties half Indian male, happens about 20% of the time I fly, which is almost always in FC due to upgrade or business travel. — Ok_Flounder59
- I hope he’s on here, reads this and realizes how much of an AH he is. — LredF
- My boyfriend and I look younger, we both have plenty of visible tattoos, and my hair is a vivid color. For some reason, this screams “poor person” for every boomer on every trip we’ve taken. Pretty much every time we go to board with FC, someone is there to let us know it’s first class ONLY right now. — Spicercakes
- Thank you and your boyfriend for being wonderful people and helping someone who needed it. Sorry you had to deal with a jerk. — Sunflower971
- Maybe ask him why HE didn’t help the little old lady. — Professional_Car9475
- I’m a FA and I let people put their bags up in first class once boarding is towards the end and all first class has seated. The looks I sometimes get from first class passengers is insane 😭 it’s reserved for first class. Your bag and backpack are up in the overhead. It’s the ✨Exclusivity✨– obamant
Your turn
What would you have done?
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7 comments
If you’re not capable of stowing your own bag then you should check it. It’s not the flight attendant’s, or any other’s passenger’s, responsibility to lift your heavy bag into the overheads.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with “responsibility,” Scott. Sometimes it’s a physical condition, such as not being tall enough, not having the arm strength, being in pain, etc. Some people are kind enough to help. If you’re not one of them, that’s your problem.
My wife and I are senior citizens who no longer want to risk hurting ourselves at the beginning of a trip by hoisting our bags into the overhead bin. We check our bags and have backpacks that fit under the seat as our personal item. It’s nice to not have to worry about whether or not we will have space in the overhead.
Unless you’re on Southwest, if you’d rather pay extra to check a carry-on bag, or risk your checked bag getting lost, that’s your right and my fingers are crossed for you. As someone who, at 4’6″ tall, has never been able to reach the overheads, I continue to rely on the kindness of strangers. <3
If fact-checking challenged row-2 man had a problem, he should’ve notified the flight attendant instead of being a jerk.
Because of arthritis, I can’t lift my suitcase to the bins. Therefore, I check my bag. It’s not right to expect someone else to do this for you, unless that person is within your own travel group. If you can’t get it in the bin on your own, check your bag!
No, it’s not wrong to ask someone to help. You’re asking for a very simple favor. Very few people will say no, if you choose carefully (appears able bodied, friendly, sitting in the aisle, etc.), ask them nicely and explain why you need the help – you can’t lift it, I can’t reach it, etc. Not everyone is a self-centered A-hole who will say no (although I personally did find one person who said no – they apologized and said they couldn’t lift for medical reasons. I smiled, said no worries and asked someone else); there are still nice people in the world who are willing to help.