Using chopsticks may seem simple, but in Japan there are etiquette rules that many Western travelers never learn — and some mistakes can unintentionally offend.
Most Western travelers eventually learn how to use chopsticks — sometimes to look more “authentic” at an Asian restaurant, and sometimes because they’re planning a trip to Asia.
But learning how to hold chopsticks isn’t the same as learning how to use them politely.
<p”>Unlike many people in Japan, who grow up using chopsticks and learning the etiquette from childhood, Westerners often pick up the skill as adults by watching friends or YouTube videos. That means many travelers unknowingly break etiquette rules that locals notice right away. Cultural norms can vary widely depending on where you’re traveling — even things like photography rules can surprise visitors. For example, some countries actually ban photography in certain places entirely.
But if you’re visiting Japan, here are a few chopstick customs worth knowing.
A note about different cultures
The first thing we’ll mention is that, just as Americans and Europeans have different etiquette rules for using knives, forks, and spoons, so do different countries that use chopsticks. China, Korea, Japan, etc. all use chopsticks in their everyday lives, but their etiquette for using them varies by culture. For this piece, we’ll just focus on Japan and cover other countries’ chopstick etiquette another time.
How to actually use chopsticks
These memes always made me giggle because it describes so many of us before we perfect our technique:
Seriously though, there are several websites that can teach you how to use chopsticks. Just search for HOW TO USE CHOPSTICKS in the search engine of your choice.
Chopstick etiquette in Japan
When you get your chopsticks
In many establishments you’ll get wooden chopsticks in a paper wrapper.
Break them apart by holding them horizontally, and pulling up and down. This is seen as more polite than holding them vertically and pulling left and right, where you could accidentally elbow your neighbor.
Some people rub their chopsticks together when they get them – especially if they’re wooden. To the Japanese, this suggests you think they’re giving you cheap chopsticks that have splinters. Very insulting. Don’t do that.
While you’re eating
In Japan, it’s perfectly acceptable to bring a bowl up to your face and use your chopsticks to scoop the food into your mouth. Just don’t SHOVE it into your mouth – that’s considered rude.
People tend to think that the Japanese always produce food in bite-sized pieces. That’s not always true. So if you have a particularly large piece of food, it’s OK to take bites out of it.
If the piece is still too big or awkward to take bites out of, ask for a knife. Don’t try to use your chopsticks as a saw; again, it’s considered to be rude.
Don’t skewer your food; it’s considered bad manners. If you’re having that much trouble using chopsticks, ask for a fork. If you’re in a restaurant that caters to tourists, they’ll have them.
Chopsticks obviously will be in or near your mouth as you’re eating – have as little of them in your mouth as you can, and keep them in there for as little time as possible. And never hold your chopsticks with your lips or teeth.
Chopsticks are made for eating and only eating. Don’t use them to move bowls or plates closer to you. Either ask someone to pass the dish over, or put your chopsticks down and do it with your hands.
Don’t ever lick your chopsticks to get that one tiny grain of rice or tiny morsel of fish that’s stuck on. If it bothers you that much, wipe the chopstick with your napkin. Otherwise, ignore it and keep eating as if it wasn’t there.
I don’t see how it would ever be practical to do, but it’s also said to never stand your chopsticks upright in your bowl. At funeral ceremonies, a bowl of rice is left out with two chopsticks stuck into it vertically – you don’t want your food to give off those sort of vibes.
Just as it’s considered rude to gesture or point with your fork or knife, the same holds true for chopsticks. If you just can’t help yourself and HAVE to talk with your hands, put your chopsticks down first. 😉
Use a chopstick rest
You sometimes will want to put your chopsticks down to be able to take a drink, to rest your hand for a moment, etc.
Putting your chopsticks on the table, or placing it like a ‘bridge” on your plate or bowl are all considered to be bad etiquette, especially in “nicer” places.
Instead, use a chopstick rest, which you should find on your table. It will be small, typically made of plastic, porcelain or metal, and can come in as many shapes as you can imagine.
If the restaurant offers no chopstick rests, you can make one out of your napkin or, if the chopsticks came in a paper wrapper, out of the wrapper itself. This YouTube video shows a quick and easy technique:
If the restaurant doesn’t offer a chopstick rest OR chopsticks in a paper wrapper you can make a chopstick holder out of, you can hang the chopstick tips on a small plate or, if you’re eating where you get a tray, hang the tips on the edge of the tray.
If you’re sharing food
The Japanese are fastidious, and sharing food via used chopsticks is just not done – it’s considered unsanitary
If you’re somewhere where food is meant to be shared, the dishes will probably come with a designated pair of chopsticks that are specifically included to scoop the food from the communal plate/bowl onto your plate.
If there aren’t any “sharing” chopsticks available, use the opposite end of your own chopsticks to transfer the food onto your plate.
Never eat directly from the communal plate or bowl — put it onto your own plate first, using either the shared chopsticks or the back of your own.
Also, never pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks – it resembles the way cremated remains are transferred to an urn.
You also have to consider the social implications of shared dishes. Don’t dig through the communal bowl for a specific piece. It looks insulting to the chef (the food they made that’s on top isn’t good enough for you) and makes you look selfish, to boot (you’re leaving your friends with the food you don’t want).
When you’re done eating
If you’ve been using disposable chopsticks, put them back in the bag and fold the end of the bag over so the servers know you’re done with your meal.
Make sure you place the used chopsticks horizontally, either on your tray or on the table, with the tips facing to the left. It’s considered taboo to place chopsticks vertically, because it’s impolite to have the tips facing the person in front of you.
Don’t worry too much
Just like anywhere else, visitors occasionally make small etiquette mistakes — and most locals understand that. But knowing a few basic chopstick customs can help you avoid awkward moments and show respect for the culture while you’re dining.
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